Tip #78: Recognise that one of the main causes of panic attacks is the fear of a panic attack.
The why: There’s a moment in Harry Potter (I know, I’m a nerd) where Remus Lupin tells Harry that “it is wise to be most afraid of fear itself.”
For a person with anxiety, this quote has a particular meaning.
Sometimes we may not fear a situation, but we fear having a panic attack in a situation.
For instance, sometimes when I get invited on holiday, or to a party, or to speak at an event I think to myself:
“Wow, this is going to be so much fun!” (Just kidding)
I think:
“What if I have a panic attack and it’s really embarrassing?”
I know that these situations could cause me anxiety, so I then worry about the effects my anxiety will have on me whilst there. What if panic strikes and everyone wonders who invited that girl huffing into a paper bag whilst crouched over crying and whispering to the dog?
Not that that has ever happened to be before…
The fear of these what if scenarios then leads to me indeed having a panic attack, because I’m afraid of what will happen if I go.
The fear of fear itself is what brings on the anxiety attack.
What I have started doing to talk myself down is to say:
“Listen up brain. I am not going to have a panic attack at this event. I know this because I am telling you now it’s not going to happen. Me thinking I’m going to have one will be the only thing to make me have one. Even if I do, I can just leave politely. But I’m going, and it’s going to be fine.”
Repeat this mantra over and over and your brain will eventually listen.
So true… the anticipation of having the fear or panic attack can be debilitating. One doctor my daughter saw for anxiety told her not to “what if”… I used to do that a lot!
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Yeah the ‘What ifs’ definitely are one of the most anxiety inducing parts of it! I hope your daughter is doing well x
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Thank you, she is! She had a lot of trouble with panic attacks when she was around 10. Now she’s 22 and thankfully, rarely has one.
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I’m so glad to hear she’s well – sounds like you raised a very strong woman!
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Thank you! I’m so proud of her 🙂
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These days I try tell my brain, ‘Dude, if you panic, you panic, no biggie, you’re not going to die. But it’s cool, it’s just a party, if it sucks you can leave after an hour.’ And then even if I’m having one, I try think, ‘okay okay okay we’re good we’re good GO LOCK YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM FOR A SECOND okay okay okay we’re good FIND SOMEONE CHILL TO TALK TO okay okay we’re good…we’re good…’ and then we’re good!
Great post FYI!
x
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I tell my brain, ‘Dude, if you panic, you panic, no biggie, you’re not going to die. But it’s cool, it’s just a party, if it sucks you can leave after an hour.’ And then even if I’m having one, I try think, ‘okay okay okay we’re good we’re good GO LOCK YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM FOR A SECOND okay okay okay we’re good FIND SOMEONE CHILL TO TALK TO okay okay we’re good…we’re good…’ and then we’re good!
Great post FYI!
x
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That’s like the exact same thing that goes through mine! It’s so odd the tactics and conversations we end up having with our own minds to overcome the things we do – and still we manage to have a great time hahaha! Thank you 🙂 x
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